I can't bear to change the "about me" blurb. Not yet.
With some things, I can be strong and forge ahead....but where I'm just not ready, I try to be gentle with myself.
Just a few weeks ago, everything changed for our family.
This will explain the name of this new blog, and why I took a little break from my recipe blog.
On June 25th, we entered a living nightmare.
It began just like it does in the movies, with a somber police officer standing on our doorstep.
He had come to tell us that the second-oldest of our four children, our precious son Michael, had died. He was twenty-six.
The words of the officer will probably echo in my ears for the rest of my life.
"It was suicide."
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There just are no words for how vastly and deeply this hurts.
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We live in a small town, and when life hits you hard, the very best of this community rises to the surface. We have received an overwhelming outpouring of compassion and kindness from our church family and the people of our town.
We have seen the mercy and love of God in so many ways. So many ways.
We are also still just stunned with pain and loss.
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I tend to process life through words. As I drove up to southeast Washington last week, for a couple of days with my family there, the idea came to me to start a blog where I could share this journey with others. I thought that maybe I could write about the really hard things, and the unexpected mercies, and the things that help ease the sharp edges. This sounded like something that would help me... and that could maybe be helpful for others out there, who may be walking a similar road of bewildering pain. I hope so.
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NOT Crying is exhausting
This is something that can maybe only be fully understood by people walking through a similar fire: that as draining as it can be to let...
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Five years ago today, at (the best we can figure) 10:30 or 11 in the morning, our beloved son Michael took his life. His death would not be... -
**This was written about eighteen months after Michael died, so it carries the intense emotional energy of that time. I am not in exactly th... -
Who would ever have thought that I would be sitting here one day, breaking my heart over Viking death metal music? Not me. This time thi...
My friend, the struggle and yet the strength shines through all you write. That you are able to offer words of hope to others going through similar situations is mind boggling. May you know you are loved, appreciated and admired beyond what words can express, and only the heart can speak.
ReplyDeleteLove you.
Thank you, friend. <3
DeleteBeautiful. Thank you for being so open. You minister to all of us through your pain.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Diane. God, in His incredible mercy brought you thousands of miles on that one day, to speak words my heart needed to hear.
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ReplyDeleteI have no words except I love you and your family are always in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Lisa. <3
DeleteMy brother committed suicide 1975, it was a nightmare, my mom went off the deep end, it took her 20 years to forgive God. I had to seek professional help to cope with my brothers death and my mom.I still ask my self why did he do it. I miss him and the memories are all I have. We really never know what is in a persons mind and what they are coping with. I forgive my brother for taking his life at 36 years old. He was a kind and gentle soul. Time does heal, you will hurt for always and the love never goes away, memories keep them alive in your mind and heart. God will give you comfort and peace in time. Sorry for your loss and God bless you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Cindie. <3 I am so sorry for your loss. I can understand how it hit your mom that way. What a painful road for you, essentially losing both of them at once. <3 It's so, so hard. <3 God is the only reason I am not curled up in a dark corner screaming my head off. <3 I might still do that. It sounds kind of therapeutic and appropriate. (wry, teary smile) <3
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