How can I keep my kid alive?

This is something that I have been asked in the past few months. And I'm pretty sure that there are others who have not asked outright, though they'd like to. I've been finding out how very many people are just desperately trying to help a loved one stay alive.

I'm not going to go into detail about Michael's death on here. We did end up learning some things about what led up to that fateful moment. It might answer questions if I talked about it, or maybe even be of help to others, but several people in our family really feel that this is private information and so I'll respect their feelings by not speaking about it publicly.

What I would like to do is to share some really helpful and important things my family and I have learned about mental health. There really are some things that can make a genuine difference, and my deepest hope would be that maybe some bit that we've learned might be of help to someone.

***I do not presume to give medical advice- I just want to share things we've learned, to maybe point others in a helpful direction, to give ideas for folks research and try.*** 

>>> If you or someone you love is having suicidal thoughts, please please please get help! In a crisis situation, medication can be life-saving. Even if a person later shifts to "natural" remedies or lifestyle changes, the most critical thing in the moment is...life. What helps the person stay alive, right now today, is the right thing. There is a new suicide hotline number in the US: simply dial 988   

Michael was not in a season of depression when he died, but many people wrestle with depression and suicidal thoughts on a regular basis, and I'd like to speak to that.

Depression can have both neurochemical and emotional roots.

If a person's depression originates from emotional issues or trauma, it is vital to find a counselor who is a good fit, to really help them deal with this in a healthy way. It can truly help to talk with someone who does not have an emotional investment in their well-being. They can speak more freely to someone who won't be hurt by their inner truth. A counselor can also offer really helpful tools and strategies for coping. There should never, ever be shame over needing to talk to someone about inner problems, or troubles in relationship. Probably most of us would truly benefit from such counsel.

There are medications that can be truly helpful, easing one back from the sharp edge of the cliff. There should be no shame, ever, in needing medical help with mental health.

There are also medications that can actually increase suicidal thoughts. It is vital to be under careful supervision by a medical professional if a person is on anti-anxiety or anti-depressant medication.

They can be real life-savers, but can also have the opposite effect. It's really important to be careful with medications.

Now, here is what has been really good news for members of my family...

We have been learning some really interesting things in the past year, about the powerful link
between gut health and mental health.

The short version is that many neurotransmitters (brain chemicals) are actually produced in the gut (intestines). Isn't that wild? I had no idea. These are the things like Epinephrine, Dopamine, Norepinephrine, DHEA, GABA...the things that govern mood, motivation, focus, etc.

A person whose gut health is compromised often has depression and anxiety, and the reverse is true- that people with mental health struggles often also have compromised gut health. Sleep issues are also a big part of this loop.

All kinds of things can impact gut health. In my own situation, it was some heavy-hitting antibiotics that saved my life but wrecked my gut. I'm thankful to be alive, but I do deal with long-lasting consequences.

Even simple things like NSAID painkillers (i.e. ibuprofen) can kill off good gut bacteria. There is some really good information about this in the book "The Plant Paradox." I'm not sure that everything in the book is legit, but the information about what kills the good guys in our bellies is astonishing.

I see a Naturopath who has really helped me. In the world of naturopathy, there are all sorts, from complete quacks to those who really know what they're doing. Part of what I like about my doctor is that she uses normal things like blood tests to look for answers. I hope it's not too much information, but I did a urine test kit that she gave me, to check my neurotransmitter levels. It tested epinephrine, norepinephrine, GABA, DHEA, glysine, histamine, and some others I don't recall right now. The results were enlightening. Instead of taking anti-anxiety or anti-depressant medications, I take natural supplements that help my body produce what it needs. I really like this approach, as there simply are no harmful side effects.

A family member has taken a different approach to mental health, with impressive results. She already ate a diet low in sugar (she just doesn't like most sweets), does not drink, smoke or use any drugs, and eats a pretty healthy diet with lots of veggies....but she still lived in the gray wasteland of clinical depression, and had very low energy levels. She learned that sardines have something in them that can really help with certain neurotransmitters. She got some good quality canned sardines, and just started eating one or two each morning. The very first day, she felt a level of optimism that she had not experienced in many years. She has also addressed her gut health with high quality probiotics and raw fermented veggies- both of which help to restore gut health. Her energy, mood, and mental clarity are dramatically better than they have been in years. It is exciting to see!

The testing and supplements I have used are pretty costly. High quality probiotics can be costly. (but so are pharmaceutical medications!!) I believe that they are far cheaper than the steep cost of poor mental and physical health, but the cost is still a real consideration.

Sardines are a much easier, less expensive first step. A person could just eat them from the can (tons of respect if you can- that's too much for me!), or maybe make sardine toast- mashing them up on toast with maybe some avocado and hot sauce, or whatever is healthy and sounds good. Olive oil, roasted veggies, green onions, minced garlic....

Other things also impact mood and gut health, like sugar (America's drug of choice!!!). Cutting way back on sugars and refined starches greatly reduces inflammation in the whole body, which helps the gut and the brain, and pretty much everything else. Artificial sweeteners have all kinds of detrimental effects on many systems in the body (they're death to gut health!).

There are good things that are naturally anti-inflammatory, like coconut oil (preferably organic, unrefined). It is so good for our bodies and our minds! They're learning a lot now about the link between inflammation, elevated blood sugar levels and dementia. Including a healthy plant fat like coconut oil in your diet can make a big difference in overall health, and brain health in particular.

Lowering the glycemic index of your diet can really help with inflammation and gut/brain health- eating complex carbohydrates (like veggies), rather than simple carbs (like pasta, potato chips, sugary treats), and using natural sweeteners that have less of an impact on blood sugar (such as natural stevia, or coconut nectar).

So many of the pieces of advice for lifting the dark clouds of depression are difficult for a depressed person to implement. If it's all you can do to get out of bed and function, deciding to start up an exercise program can seem just impossible. For someone in that place, making a few dietary changes might feel more doable. Maybe they can start eating organic yogurt with live active cultures in it. That's a start. Maybe they can handle taking a probiotic supplement once a day. Maybe they can handle the sardine idea. That one is definitely worth trying. They're like tiny miracle fish. :)

I've been amazed to see how a few simple dietary changes can make a truly positive difference in the mental health of someone I love.

Here is another, very important consideration: be careful and informed about anything that you put into your body, even something "healthy." If you're on medication, do the research on what can interfere with it or cause bad reactions.

Also, be very careful and informed about stopping taking things. Never just quit a medication without talking to your doctor or pharmacist. Let someone who knows all the ramifications help you to wean off of medications, if it's safe for you to do so. Someone we love just had a stroke after she stopped taking her medication, because she felt it was too expensive. So, so sad.

Even things that people take to help get better results with exercise can have potentially serious or even fatal side effects. Be so, so, so careful with anything you put in your body!!! It's just not worth the risk. Also, be extremely careful about stopping taking things. That can also be so dangerous.

I really love that what has helped my loved one are things that have no dangerous side effects or damaging potential.

If someone you love is wrestling with depression and suicidal thoughts, my heart is so with you. That is such a scary, painful road. I pray that your story and theirs will have a happy, healthy ending.

I hope that maybe some bit of what we've learned might be of help to you and your loved one.