When you wobble, widen your stance

My dad is an interesting man, full of ideas and theories and a wealth of knowledge. Our family has some wonderful memories of hiking and backpacking trips in wild and lovely places. Something I have been thinking of recently is one of his bits of outdoor wisdom. It applies to my current journey in a way I'd never considered before.

Some of our hikes to our favorite wilderness areas were conducted after dark. This may have something to do with lack of time management, or with Dad's boundless optimism over just how much he could accomplish before leaving town, but sometimes it was simply due to a pileup of delays. One time, our late departure was caused by Dad having five flat tires in the space of just one day! Yes, five! All four tires and the spare, one after another! He would just get one fixed and get back on task, and another tire would go. On that trip, we reached the trailhead at 9 pm, loaded up and started the hike down into the river canyon. We reached our campsite at midnight. Memorable. :)

On those after-dark treks, Dad would use the opportunity to teach us new skills. He is all about teaching in the moment! He showed us that even without a flashlight, once our eyes adjusted we could usually pick out the trail. We did have flashlights; he just wanted to show us that we could survive without them if necessary. He also showed us how, when it really was too dark to see the trail, we could still follow it by feeling it with our feet. Most mountain trails are slightly cupped, with the edges rising up a little. He showed us how, if we would widen our stance and set our feet further apart, we could feel the upward curve of the trail edges. This enabled us to follow the trail, even when we were blinded by the dark. It was slow going, but not impossible.

Lately, I have been thinking of this philosophy in broader terms. Often, if a person feels a little unsteady on their feet, just widening their stance will help. I have seen Dad do this as he has aged. Instead of a quick narrow stride, he walks a slower, more careful, wider-set pace. It gives him better stability. Any time you feel a little unsteady, a little wobbly on your feet, setting your feet into a wider stance can help. Even in the shower, with your eyes closed while washing your hair, widening your stance can keep you steady.

I have thought a number of times about how Dad's approach can apply to daily life...but then I took the idea even farther. In the past four months, under the heaving load of terrible grief and tremendous change, I have wobbled severely. I am usually a pretty independent person, tackling tasks on my own rather than letting others help. This journey has changed that.

I have needed the help of those around me, to help me keep going, to keep me from toppling over.

I have accepted offers of help with cleaning and packing, with errands, with just washing dishes so I could move forward. I said yes when a friend offered to launder Michael's clothes before they went into storage.

In a way, this is just like what Dad taught me on those trails through the night woods, decades ago. This path was too rough and too dark for me to walk it alone. My load was too heavy, and it threatened to knock me off my feet. So, I widened my stance. I took hold of the hands reaching out to help me. I accepted the support of my friends and community. I let them help me carry the load.

I also widened my stance in spiritual terms. I reached out for the support that was offered in my relationship with God, and in the promises of His Word. I grabbed onto God and leaned into Him, hard. I looked avidly for the evidence of His love and mercy in those first, very dark days, and I saw it so clearly. I fixed my thoughts on words like Psalm 34:18- "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." This helped so much.

So I encourage you, when you wobble, to plant your feet on firm ground and widen your stance. Take the hands of those who offer you support and let them help you to stay on your feet. Lean into the deep comfort of those spiritual resources, of our loving God and all His promises; hold onto them tightly.

It really does help.